Whenever I see ‘New Year New You’ I roll my eyes. It seems to be everywhere in January and it feels so empty and unoriginal. It’s a bit like ‘We’ve got Christmas all wrapped up’ that you see in the shops in the festive season. Major yawn.
Random brands, adverts, magazines or programmes have no business, nor any right, to be declaring that this year, or any year, should involve us cutting ties with who we are and, more specifically, who we’ve become.
Joffrey was annoyed to read that 'New Year New You' was on the front of his Cosmo magazine cover again.
Semantics are important here because I’m not against ‘New’ when it means positive change like ‘New’ mindsets, ‘New’ love and ‘New’ achievements – far from it and it’s generating these lovely ‘New’ things with my clients that have led me to have a profitable Life Coaching business.
‘New’ can feel like it has to be through revolution but it can, more often than not, be achieved through evolution.
I LOVE me some evolution. I love development and I love enhancement and building on what’s gone before – good, bad and even the ugly (-When you know better, you do better right?)
For me, a new year is about putting into action the lessons learned in previous years - note plural - and making our life experience as robust and varied as possible.
So that might mean a new fitness regime, a new job or ending a relationship in January. They’re things that happen and experiences you’ll work through and when next January comes around, you’ll be stronger for it.
You don’t have to leave who you have grown into, ‘at the door’ to be ‘New’.
Whoever you are, whatever your age, no matter where in the world you’re sat right now…. There will be a vast and bespoke collection of personal experiences that will have led you to this point. Some you will have chosen and some will have been outside your control – both good and bad.
(Notice I deliberately didn’t say ‘things have happened to you in your life. This is passive, over-deterministic language and you aren’t passive no matter what you may think. But that’s another blog post, poppet.)
Your experiences will probably have included:
Break-ups, make-ups, shake-ups, throw ups (Sorry but it’s true)… ho downs, show downs, great dates, awful dates, weight loss and weight gain and something in the middle, adventures on exotic shores and ruts at home, professional success and professional woe, betrayal from those you know and delightful surprises from those you don’t know so well. I could go on and on…
You get the drift. We experience many and varied things in our personal and professional lives and it shapes who we are. Some of that we will like. Some of that we’d prefer to work on.
But experience makes us who we are today, and we turn our back on our present selves at our peril – we are, after all, the sum of all of our successes as well as our survivals.
You’re here. There is nobody quite like you and you’re a work in progress and thank goodness. Work. In. Progress. Not all done and ‘nothing to see here’.
I read a brilliant article this week by author Karis Stainton “Courage is not something you’re born with, it’s something you choose."
So take courage and positively choose your ‘new’. Change what you want to in your life and make sure it’s motivated by what YOU want to be, do and have. Not what others want for you.
Build and bolster the superstar that you are in a way that will keep you moving forward. Another fantastic line from Stainton’s article that I just had to share is “When you stop worrying about what people think, it’s easier to be brave. And it doesn’t feel like bravery, it feels like being yourself.”
The HAIM sisters rockin' being themselves natch
So, this time instead of ‘New Year. New You’ let's adopt ‘New Year. New experiences and You’. Beautiful you as you are and what you'll be.
What do you think? What’s the new experience or evolution you’d like to work through or towards right now?
Is it actually better in some circumstances to shed your skin and walk away from the past completely?
I would love to hear your opinion so do DM me, post on social or leave a comment below!
Love Lucy
(PS: thanks so much to the following sources for the gifs:
Joffrey: http://www.dailyedge.ie/jack-gleeson-joffrey-quitting-acting-1192267-Nov2013/
Lena: http://distant-green-light.tumblr.com/
Haim: http://pigeonsandplanes.com/2013/06/10-gifs-that-will-make-you-want-to-go-to-a-haim-concert/s/188394